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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28847097">What Do You Do With A Drunk Space Pirate?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Freckles_From_Brooklyn/pseuds/Freckles_From_Brooklyn'>Freckles_From_Brooklyn</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Magnus Archives (Podcast)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Except it wasn't just a college thing he's still doing it, Martin's pining because Jon looks really fucking good in steampunk fashion and eye makeup, This takes place during season one before we lost Sasha rip queen, Yes here is my incredibly original "the Mechanisms were Jon's band in college" AU, it's got some pre-relationship jonmartin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 03:55:22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,004</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28847097</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Freckles_From_Brooklyn/pseuds/Freckles_From_Brooklyn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Tim makes a very important discovery about Jon's personal life.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>176</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>What Do You Do With A Drunk Space Pirate?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Guys! Come here!” Tim hissed, beckoning Martin and Sasha over to his desk. “I’ve got something super important to show you!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“More important than the job that we’re being paid to do?” Sasha asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Much more important!” Tim said. “I’ve made an amazing discovery! Come here!” Sasha and Martin exchanged glances but walked over to Tim’s desk anyway. “So, I was just minding my own business, listening to my music, when I come across this steampunk space pirate folk band called The Mechanisms,” Tim explained. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, branching out, are we?” Sasha said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shut up,” Tim retorted. “They came up on my recommended list and they’re actually really good. Anyway, listen to this.” He pressed the spacebar on his laptop, and the sound of violins, guitars, and singing came out of the speakers. After a moment, Tim paused it again. “Sound familiar?” He asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Martin said, clearly quite confused. “Should it have?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes!” Tim said, clearly getting more and more excited by the second. “Because look at this!” He pulled up a video. “This is that same band, and look at the lead singer!” He pressed play on the video. The lead singer, who at this point was telling a story instead of singing, was wearing a long black coat, a white shirt, a brown vest, brown pants, brown boots, black fingerless gloves, and several belts. He had an intricate pattern of black tendrils around his eyes, and his long black hair was pulled into a low ponytail, the flyaways held back by a pair of steampunk goggles. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t you see?” Tim asked. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>That’s Jon!</span>
  </em>
  <span> He has a band, and he never told us!”</span>
</p><p><span>“You’re jumping to conclusions,” Sasha said. “We don’t know that’s Jon.”</span><span><br/>
</span> <span>“Are you kidding?” Tim argued. “Look at him!”</span></p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I’m sure there’s only one dark-skinned man with long black hair in the whole of England,” Martin said, rolling his eyes. “Excellent detective work there, Tim.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m telling you, it’s him!” Tim said. “Look, this band’s playing a gig at a theatre downtown on Friday night. If we can’t get Jon to fess up between now and then, let’s all go see them, and see if we can catch him in it then.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine,” Sasha said. “If he turns out to be the lead singer for this band, lunch is on me on Monday. If he isn’t, it’s on you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Deal,” Tim replied, shaking her hand. Just then, Jon emerged from his office. He frowned at his three assistants, who were not doing the jobs that they should have been doing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aren’t you three supposed to be working?” He asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s my fault, boss,” Tim said, giving Martin and Sasha a look that clearly said, “watch this.” “I just found this new song, and I wanted them to listen to it. Speaking of music, I’ve been getting really into steampunk stuff lately, do you have any recommendations?”</span>
</p><p><span>“No,” Jon said, heading to the kitchen to make himself a cup of tea. </span><span><br/>
</span> <span>“That was pathetic,” Sasha said as soon as Jon was out of earshot.</span></p><p>
  <span>“Hey, he caught me off-guard!” Tim replied defensively. “It would’ve been better if I’d had time to prepare!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure,” Sasha said. She and Martin headed back to their desks, and for once, Martin thanked god for Jon’s low standards when it came to his work as he spent the rest of the day watching videos of the band and their lead singer, who he knew was his boss. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Friday rolled around and Tim had still been unable to get Jon to admit he was in a band, the three archival assistants met at the theatre where The Mechanisms were performing. The show was sold out, and Tim had only barely managed to snag tickets, no doubt employing some of his sneakier methods to get them. Despite the last-minute nature, the seats were actually pretty decent, and Martin had an amazing view of the lead singer, who apparently called himself Jonny D’ville. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean, it’s like he’s not even trying to hide it,” Tim complained to Sasha and Martin, the latter of whom was ignoring him and staring at the man onstage. “How can you not see that that’s Jon up there?” Sasha just rolled her eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re making this a bigger deal than it needs to be,” She said. After the show, which was amazing, the band members came out to hang out with the audience. Seizing his chance, Tim quickly located Jonny D’ville and dragged Martin and Sasha over to him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey Jonny, big fan,” he said. Jon turned and sighed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I knew you three would be here,” he said. “What do you want?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why didn’t you tell us you were in a band?” Tim demanded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because I like to keep my personal life and my work life separate,” Jon replied, clearly irritated. “It’s worked thus far, until you three decided to start prying. Please refrain from talking about this at work.” Tim held his hands up defensively.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine, fine,” He said. “Come on guys, let’s go get a drink somewhere.” he and Sasha started heading for the exit, but Martin hung back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good job,” He said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t patronize me, Martin,” Jon snapped. “I’m really not in the mood.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No— I wasn’t trying to patronize you. I’m sorry,” Martin said. “I was being genuine. I really enjoyed the show. You were— you guys were amazing.” Jon raised an eyebrow. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You really think so?” He asked. Martin nodded earnestly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is all really cool,” he said. “I’m glad I found out about it, even if you didn’t really want us to know. Is… is it okay if I keep coming to shows? If you don’t want me to, I won’t, but I—” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, that’s fine, as long as you don’t make a fuss about it,” Jon said. “Thank you, Martin. Now you’d better catch up with Tim and Sasha before they leave you behind.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh! Right,” Martin said. “I’ll, uh, I’ll see you on Monday?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” Jon said. “Enjoy your weekend.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You too,” Martin said. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
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